The human race showing signs of splitting into two species

The human race may one day split into two separate species, an attractive, intelligent ruling, rich group and an underclass of dim-witted, fat, ugly goblin-like creatures, according to a top scientist. The political party each belongs to will also fall into two categories: Conservative/Independent and Liberal/Socialist.

In a few thousand years up to 100,000 years into the future, sexual selection could mean that two distinct breeds of human will have developed. It’s signs are already here.

The alarming prediction comes from evolutionary theorist Oliver Curry from the London School of Economics, who says that the human race will have reached its physical peak by the year 3000.

humans The report claims that after they reach their peak around the year 3000 humans will begin to regress

Enlarge the image

These humans will be between 6ft and 7ft tall and they will live up to 120 years.

“Physical features will be driven by indicators of health, youth and fertility that men and women have evolved to look for in potential mates,” says the report, which suggests that advances in cosmetic surgery and other body modifying techniques will effectively homogenise our appearance.

Men will have symmetrical facial features, deeper voices and bigger penises, according to Curry in a report commissioned for men’s satellite TV channel Bravo.

Women will all have glossy hair, smooth hairless skin, large eyes and pert breasts, according to Curry.

Racial differences will be a thing of the past as interbreeding produces a single coffee-colored skin tone. The fat, dumb welfare state people, those most likely to be Democrats in America, Labour Party in England and Socialists in the rest of Europe are becoming evident.

The future for our descendants isn’t all long life, perfect bodies and chiselled features, however.

While humans will reach their peak in 1000 years’ time, 10,000 years later our reliance on technology will have begun to dramatically change our appearance.

Medicine will weaken our immune system and we will begin to appear more child-like.

Dr. Curry said: “The report suggests that the future of man will be a story of the good, the bad and the ugly.

Today you can see the split. Cindy Sheehan, Hugo Chavez, Barbra Boxer, and Henry Waxman are among the Liberal/Socialist party of trolls. While Bush, McCain, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bill O’Rielly and Sean Hannity are the Conservative/Independent party members.

It’s just a theory, of course.

–NIALL FIRTH interviewed Dr. Curry.

23 thoughts on “The human race showing signs of splitting into two species

  1. So what they’re saying is, in 10000 years the rest of the world will look like what most of California looks like now…

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  3. I hope you guys aren’t buying into this. Its most likely just a joke. Humans breed between different social classes way too often for something like this too happen. Though the part about us becoming more child-like do to our reliance on medicine is highly likely, assuming society as a whole doesn’t continue the pattern of structure-chaos (something all countries and empires have experienced in the past). Meaning that in those areas of degradation would be improved back to its previous state do to the need to survive with out that “reliable” medicine and technology during those chaotic times.

  4. This whole article is bashing liberals/socialist. If anything conservatives will become the ugly goblin like race,just look at McCain and Bush.

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  9. This is all very intriguing…as Wowzer said above, it may all just be a joke (although who knows…3000 years is a very long time for things to get messed up). That said, I’ve been enjoying thinking about what it would be like. Have blogged about it over on Sillyoldgoat.com if anyone’s interested.

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